In all of our combined years of working with men in psychotherapy, medicine and coaching we noticed a common pattern, do you see yourself in any of this? - 

As men, we have been sold a lie, I think it's time to admit it. 

We are led to believe when we are younger that if we work hard all day, we come home to a loving wife and kids. They appreciate all our hard work, and we can be proud and respected and that is how we see out our days. 

However, that is never how it pans out really.

You get home after slogging and grinding and you're instantly met with your partner's complaints about their day or perhaps even about what you didn't remember to do around the house.

Your children fight for your attention but you are so exhausted you zone out on your phone, maybe you crack a beer or a cocktail and sit in front of the TV. 

This causes you to drift further apart, "why don't they appreciate me?" you think. 

So you start to feel more anger than usual, anger that you are not getting what was promised, anger that your family don't appreciate how hard you work. 

Perhaps you even throw yourself more into your work. After all, you know how to get praise at work. So you spend more and more time there. You think about it when you get home and when you wake up. 

The distance grows from your partner and from yourself. Taking care of you becomes an inconvenience. 

You start to feel numb to everything, the success and low points. Nothing makes you feel connected. 

Then one day, your partner says "I've had enough, things need to change" 

You know she's right and you agree......

But where do you start? .........