• Phil Airson


Can you remember when you were taught about money? I’d bet you weren't. Most if not all of our financial habits will emerge from the messages we swallowed when we were growing up. We observe how family, friends and those around us behave around money and adapt this as our ‘normal’. As you will know from various experiences, these early ‘lessons’ are so incredibly powerful and so deeply ingrained in us that they are so difficult to ‘unlearn’.

Childhood events are brought to the front of our mind and dominate our thinking, most often unconsciously.

If, for example, you were brought up in a household in which the main breadwinner held all of the power, its more than likely this still affects your beliefs - either you will strive with all of your might to earn more money than your partner or you will feel rubbish and relegated to a lower status.

Through my work with clients I have seen so many times that although we understand on an intellectual level we understand that money should never equal power (especially in your relationships) however EMOTIONALLY we keep snapping back to these beliefs in time of stress or anxiety. As so few of us are willing to talk freely and openly about money, these self limiting beliefs remain with us unchallenged.

Some people believe that they don't even deserve to have money. Perhaps they grew up with a mother who struggled to make ends meet and there was never any spare cash to save. When these children turn into adults, they have no idea what to do with extra money. It is so much easier to get rid of by pointless spending. This restores them to a situation that is familiar and comfortable - one of having no money.

Of course we can absorb positive habits from our parents too. You can learn the importance of saving and long-term planning. Although you can also learn that spending any money on yourself is an unwanted extravagance.

Although squirrelling away some of your income like delicious nuts is an excellent habit, it’s important to also enjoy life and pursue fulfilment and personal growth. Financial wellbeing means experiencing a healthy relationship with money. Hoarding is no healthier than compulsive spending.

Here are some questions to ask yourself

  • What are your key money memories and how do they influence you now?

  • What did your parent(s) tell you about money? Has this led to any self-limiting beliefs?

  • What do you tell yourself about your relationship with money now? How would it feel to let go of those messages?

Once you’re aware of those influential messages, you can start challenging them.

If you think you shouldn’t have money, you might feel ashamed, and then act by getting rid of it. Equally, the thought that money is scarce could make you feel anxious. The potential result is stashing away every spare penny and avoiding opportunities.

We like to think of ourselves as independent grownups, but our tiny child selves are lurking within and influencing our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s impossible to have an unemotional relationship with money. However, if we understand those emotions better, we can use them to our advantage and achieve lasting positive change.

If you or someone you know is struggling with finances or mindset around finances then please LIKE, COMMENT and SHARE! You might share this with someone who is too shy to talk about money with someone they know and they can get help.

And getting people to get professional help is COOL!

If you want to overcome your mindset and grow a healthy relationship with money then book a free strategy session with me NOW.



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