ARE YOU ALWAYS PLEASING OTHERS OVER YOURSELF?
WHO FEELS WORN OUT FROM CONSTANT GIVING?
I had a client recently who was raised to think her value was in pleasing everyone else around her. Her parents were pretty selfish and always playing victims and she had taken in a story that it was her role to give to and help everyone to make up for this.
I offered her a job, She gets to be in charge of a whole village, she is the only happy one and she is in charge of the health of everyone else, their mental state, their happiness and health and the best bit? She gets zero pay.
Would you take such a job? Because some of us are.
She admitted part of her would still take the job offer. I challenged that her family legacy doesn't need to follow her, she disagreed.
She then got connected to her inner child and I talked her through walking past a box in the street of dirty discarded dolls, she wanted to pick the box up and fix them, but it means bringing all the dirt and disease with her back home. She wouldn't let her daughter do that, it was ok for her to cry but also understand why she doesn't have to take care of everyone.
When we challenge our story of having to be giving to everyone and ask "What if it wasn't true?" what could your life really be like?